For some reason Allah didn’t allow me the ability to breastfeed baby #4 and I became pregnant 5 mos after his birth.  I found out that a muslim sister was working at the clinic down the street from my house and I was so happy.  I went to see her for about 6 mos of  the pregnancy but the doctor over her head decided that she did not want to deliver the baby naturally due to my 2 C sections.  Now keep in mind my 1st c section was 18 yrs ago and the 2nd was 7 years ago and not only that I delivered a 9lb120z baby vaginal 6 mos ago.  WHAT!?  I basically told her no offense but I’m gonna have to go elsewhere.  I told the sister although I realize that there is a chance I could have a C Section I don’t want my options yanked off the table so early in the game.  I went right back to the doctors I had seen for the last pregnancy and they were more than willing to let me try for a VBAC since I proved them wrong once already LOL!  With this pregnancy I developed gestational diabetes again!  The doctors were of course concerned and every week would tease me that they were debating about me all the time.  

In my last month they sent me for 2 ultrasounds and I knew this baby was going to be bigger than my last one but the ultrasound said 8lbs 6oz and 2 weeks later it said 8lbs 13oz.  I knew it was wrong but I wasn’t going to tell them that.  The way I see it Allah was helping me, because if it said the true size they would have pushed me to have a ceserean.  Alhamdulillah 

At 38 weeks one of my Non Stress Tests didn’t go to well.  (Honestly I think she was just a lazy baby, because she is now and so are all my girls LOL!)  The doc decided she wanted to induce me to avoid risk of stillbirth.  So I made lot’s of istikhara and pretty much went in with the mindset that it is whatever Allah wants it to be.  Although I was beginning to doubt myself with the way all the doctors were acting in the delivery room.  They were more nervous than I was.  LOL!  It really doesn’t matter what you do it is truly up to Allah.  I just kept telling myself this and continued to make duaa.    I went in to be induced and was dialated 4cm so they just popped my water.   I didn’t have anything to eat and they wouldn’t let me eat until after delivery.  I told them even Ramadan wasn’t this difficult LOL!  I was sooo hungry and thirsty and weak.  When you are diabetic it is a lot rougher.  At one time I truly thought I was going to pass out and panicked.   I finally took the epidural.  I had no energy and they wouldn’t let me out of bed again.  I have to walk around when I’m in pain or it is too unbearable.  Masha Allah for those of you who endured it to the end. 

Well ofcourse the time came again to push but I couldn’t remember how and the baby was face up, and ofcourse I had no energy due to starvation.  The doc threatened me to get it right or I was going for surgery.  That’s all it took and after 3 pushes she was out.  Masha Allah. 

Now while I was in labor they were feeling my stomach and asking me how big I thought the baby was.  Astagfirallah but I knew she was well over my last baby but I told her a little bit bigger, maybe.  She weighed 10lbs 2ounces and the doctor said I lied to her.  I appologized but I told her it was for a good reason.  They weren’t too upset since everything turned out well. 

All I can say is Allahu Akbar that is all it truly is.  Allah was there for me eventhough I wasn’t the nicest pregnant lady. LOL!   I am thankful to my creator and I hope that I earned some forgiveness for my sins.  Please don’t take my story as medical advice as I am not a doctor.  Either way that you look at it whether you end up with a ceserean or a vaginal birth remember as muslims we believe everything was already written before we entered this world, my to c-sections were already decreed by Allah, so I am confident that I did nothing wrong as a woman and I have to accept what I have and work with it.  I know surgery is not fun but the most important thing really is ours and the babies safety.  So just keep reminding yourself it is as Allah wants it to be.  I don’t know how many times I have to tell myself this everyday.  Please make duaa for me and my family and I will do the same for you insha Allah.

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